Video Games: My Guardian Angel

Video games for most of us are a form of fun and entertainment. There are those out there who have their objections to video games, and others who feel games do nothing but bad things. There are plenty of reports that put video games in a negative light, but so few that tell a positive story. With the rare exceptions, how often do you hear about video games doing something good for someone?

I was four years old when I was introduced to video games. It was something that would change my life forever and I remember it as if it was yesterday. My father had received a “broken” NES from one of his colleagues. She told him if he could fix it, he could keep it. When he came home from work that night, we brought it to our local Babbages. They immediately cleaned it with a cleaning kit and then tested it out. The system worked perfectly and the salesman said, “this happens all the time, it just needs to be cleaned.” It was my fate to be introduced to video games on that night.

When I eventually started school, I was not very popular at all. The others would constantly tease me, call me names, and even try to beat me up because I was the fat kid. As I’m sure you’ve already guessed, I didn’t have any friends. Throughout elementary school, I was the kid in class who didn’t get invited to birthday parties or over peoples house’s for play dates. I spent a lot of my time out of school tossing the football to myself in the backyard or playing video games. Naturally, I found video games to be more entertaining than a game of single person catch. Video games helped make not having friends at the young age more bearable. It was how I got to have fun as a kid. While people were at birthday parties I wasn’t invited to, I was playing games that would have made a nice gift. Their loss, right?

School wasn’t the only place where things were rough for me, life at home wasn’t exactly peaches and cream. You could say that my parents didn’t have the perfect marriage. There are too many times I can recall my parents having intense fights and screaming contests. Unlike the kids from school, I could immediately escape the madness going on. Most of the time I would close the door to my room and turn up the game volume. When I was playing whatever game it was, I felt like I wasn’t a part of the war going on outside. Video games were my safe zone when the fighting broke out. I didn’t exactly know what was going on, but as a kid, I was scared of all the yelling and knew it wasn’t good. I just wanted it to go away, and playing video games helped make that happen for me. My parents eventually got divorced when I got to middle school. It was a rough time, but I knew I could pop on a game and forget about my troubles for the time being – and I did just that.

It was in my later years of middle school that I was allowed to start hanging out at places like the local mall. Of course I was only allowed to go if it was with my older sister. At this time I had also just moved to a new school and still had no friends. I was the loser who had to hang out with his sister, but it was better than being cooped up in the house all the time. Although we were supposed to stick together, my sister would ditch me for some boy or to go do whatever it was she was doing. I wanted no part of it and was left on my own. It was intimidating being young and out by myself, so I spent almost all of my time at the EBX (part EB games before GameStop took over) in the mall. Once again, video games were there to help make the situation easier on me. The employees eventually got to know me and would allow me to play any game I wanted on the demo kiosks. I explained my situation and they were more than accommodating. It was something that felt too good to be true and was a luxury most people would never get. Sure I had to stand there and wasn’t all relaxed sitting in a chair, but it ultimately helped me to explore games I didn’t own or couldn’t afford at the time.

When I got to High School, I finally began to make some friends. The close friends I did make shared something in common with me – a love for video games. Every weekend we would get together at my house and play whatever it was we decided to play. At the time, the console to own was the PlayStation 2. We spent a lot of time playing GTA III and Vice City. There were plenty of other games, but those were our favorite. While the majority of the school was out partying and running from real cops, we were trying to not get busted in GTA and lose our turn to play. Ironic how we were playing GTA and staying out of trouble while some of our fellow classmates were the ones out getting in real trouble. As high school progressed, our weekend video game meet-ups were something we looked forward to. High School had it’s ups and it’s downs, but the fun times we had gaming made it easier to get through the week.

Toward the end of High School, My father no longer wanted to live in New York. He moved to California during the middle of my senior year. I ended up living at a friends house so I could finish the year at school with my friends and not have to start fresh with so little time left. It was awkward and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t difficult for me to go through. My friends and I would meet-up on weekends still, and it was something that again helped ease the situation for me. On top of going to school, I was also working a simple retail job. To keep myself busy and make more money, I decided I would pick up a second job on the days I didn’t have work at the other one. I went back to the EBX where I had hung out for most of my early teen years. There was a whole new staff working there at this point, but I still wanted to be a part of it. I was hired shortly after applying for a position. The timing was perfect. Shortly after I began at EBX, the other store I was working for closed down. The assistant manager of our EBX was also leaving and more hours opened up. I was the one asked to fill them up. Again something related to video games had saved the day.

After I finished High School, I moved out of my friends house and in with my mother. My mother and I never really got along very well and I couldn’t really tell you why either. To ease tensions not only between my mother and I, but her and her husband and I as well, can you guess what I did? I went in my room, closed the door, and played video games. For a while, it worked like a charm. I was still working at EBX, but things were starting to fall apart. The new District Manager was a prick and refused to give me a promotion to Assistant Manager. He kept me at my $7.50 an hour Sales Associate salary, but had me to do the work of an Assistant Manager. It was unfair and when I spoke out against it, I was told, “that’s just the way it is Kreyg.” I was upset that things weren’t working out anymore after they had been while I was there. While I was contemplating leaving EBX, another video game store had opened up right down the hall. It was a small mom and pop shop called X-Zone.

Before I had the chance to even inquire about a job, the late owner Steven Park came to me and said he wanted to make me an offer. He offered me the position of assistant manager and higher salary than what I had at EBX. While I felt my loyalty should belong to EBX, they had no loyalty to me. I told Steven I would consider his offer. It didn’t take me too long to decided after I heard from 2 different co-workers that I had been dubbed “cry-baby” by not only the District Manager, but the Store Manager as well. They felt the title fit after I objected to the workload of Assistant Manager for a Sales Associates wage. After close to 8 months and many weeks as top salesman in our district, I left EBX.  Thinking about it now, it’s weird how Steven offered me exactly what I wanted from EBX. I didn’t know him and he barely knew me, he took a gamble and it payed off for not only him, but me as well. It was a strange coincidence that worked itself out for everyone involved. I was thrilled too because I didn’t want to stop working with video games.

While things with my “professional” life at the time were back in order, my personal life was not so great. My friends had all gone away to school while I decided to work for the following year to save up money. Luckily X-Zone did more than give me employment, it gave me many new friends as well. The other 5 employees and I got along great and are still good friends to this day. While that part of my personal life had been solved, there was still the trouble at home. I was eventually thrown out of my mother’s and was forced to leave X-Zone and my friends to live with my father in California. While I was in California I discovered how awesome Xbox Live was. I kept in contact with all of my friends back home and we were still able to game together. While I might have been 3000 miles away from them, we could all still hang out and play games as if I was back in NY. I can tell you that a lot of Halo 2 got played, but there was also a lot of time spent BSing in pre-game lobbies. While it was better than nothing, I wanted to go back.

My sister and her husband eventually offered to house me for a while if I wanted to move back to New York. Missing the few friends I had and X-Zone, I instantly decided to move back. There was only one condition to living with my sister though. I had to have a job within a set time or I would have to move back in with my father. The week before I moved back, I called X-Zone to inquire if I could have my old job back. When I called, I was given the sad news that Steven had just recently passed away. While I thought this meant the end of X-Zone, Steven’s assistant at the time Mike had taken charge and was keeping X-Zone alive. He was thrilled to hear I was coming back and wanted me to stop in and talk when I was in New York. Within 3 hours of being back in New York, I was at X-Zone and talking to Mike. He welcomed me back with open arms, my old position, and a raise. I was back in New York with my friends and once again working with what I loved – video games.

While things were great when I first came back, after a few months, certain parts of my personal life started falling apart - again. My sister and her husband started getting into illegal substances, pills, and alcohol. It wasn’t a great environment to live in and due to objections of certain things, I had been thrown out 2 days before Christmas of 2005. I spent my Christmas in the back room of X-Zone playing practically any game I wanted and eating food my boss had dropped off for me. While I should have been upset or hurt, I had a pretty awesome Christmas that year. I had access to virtually every video game console and every hit title that was out that holiday season. While it’s not exactly a normal way to spend Christmas, it’s one I’ll remember for the rest of my life – guaranteed. Video games saved Christmas for me that year. After a few days, my sister let me come back and stay with her again. It lasted for about another month and then it happened again. My sister kicked me out and this time it was for good.

At this point in time, I had no where else to go. I remember showing up to X-Zone with my packed bags and going into the backroom. Mike came out of the back office, looked at me and said, “where are you going?” I looked at him and before I could say a word, I broke down. I left X-Zone after I gained my composure to think about what I was going to do. My younger sister had taken my room at my father’s, so I couldn’t just move back in with him. Even if I could, at that time, not only did I have my friends and a great job, but a love interest as well. I went back to X-Zone and while I was talking to my co-worker, I was called into the back office. When I walked in the back office, I saw on one of the desks, an air mattress, a pillow, and a blanket. Mike looked at me and said “it’s not much, but you can call it home for now.” I again broke down and embraced him for what he had just done for me – it was amazing.

I was technically homeless, but still had a place to sleep at night. I made it my mission to save all my cash and get an apartment. The time I spent at X-Zone wasn’t exactly what I would call “great,” but video games made the experience easier on me. I had access to games of the past and present. I was once again living what most people would call a little kids dream come true. I made the best of the time there and played as many games as I could to pass the time as quickly as possible. While it might not have been the ideal living situation, it was better than living on the streets. I eventually got out of the backroom of X-Zone and into my own place. I spent 3 years on my own before the economy forced X-Zone to close at the end of 2008. Within the course of a week, I lost not only my job, but my girlfriend of 3 years as well. I should have been devastated by both events being so close, but guess what was there for me again – video games.

I had just started Hot Blooded Gaming and it was like a saving grace to me. Video games had once again did what they had done my whole life, help make the horrible situations I was in that much easier on me. When I wasn’t out looking for a new job, I was writing, broadcasting, or coming up with new and exciting ideas for the broadcast and the site itself. For financial reasons, I eventually moved back in with my father and again, moving 3000 miles away from my friends and life back in New York completely sucked. Despite the amount of suck that was going on, I had the site and a vision for it. I’ve spent the last year now searching for real work, but to no avail. In that time though, I worked on growing HBG. It has made this situation not feel as bad as it should. While it’s no Kotaku, the site has grown significantly over the last year and has helped make this dark period in life more bearable – I am beyond thankful.

Throughout my life, I’ve been put in many tough situations. Through them all I’ve had one thing constantly there – video games. Video games made the bad times good, and the good times even better. Without video games, I feel many parts of my life, especially my childhood would have been a lot harder for me to get through. They made my life easier when I was that fat kid with no friends and when I was the “homeless” guy living in the back room of a video game store. Whether it be by coincidence or design, for the last 20 years of my life, video games have been my guardian angel.


Author: Kreyg View all posts by
I am Kreyg, the Founder and Editor-In-Chief of Hot Blooded Gaming. Check out my Staff Profile. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at

117 Comments on "Video Games: My Guardian Angel"

  1. Andrey_A April 11, 2010 at 06:20 - Reply

    Я думаю что если пишеш по теме и не пишеш всякий бред, а поддерживай разговор, то ничего в этом плохого нет, что люди хотять зароботать какуюто копейку!!!

  2. Jared Miller March 31, 2010 at 14:30 - Reply

    This article hit me hard. I didn’t realize all the shit you went through Kreyg. When you broadcast you seem like your the happiest guy in the world and that you love what you do. This is why people love you Kreyg because you make us the fans laugh and laugh and have a fun time in your channel. Whenever I am really sad or stressed about college I watch your broadcast I forget all those feelings and laugh and fell welcomed. So thank you Kreyg for everything you do for us.

  3. DeadStretch March 29, 2010 at 23:20 - Reply

    After reading all of that I have so many different emotions running through me. I myself have had went through similar things. My parents used to fight and argue but it wasn’t due to a bad marriage per say.

    At the time my parents were doing drugs, but I hadn’t realized that was the problem. The littlest things would piss my father off and he would let it out on me and my brother. Something my father hated. He grew up the oldest of 10 and his father used to beat him like he was his sparring partner. Seeing my father crying after beating me used to really confuse me. Video Games were the only thing I had to escape with. No matter the amount of pain i was nor how loud the yelling me just trying to beat certain games and levels just made it all go away.

    The thing that hit me the most about your life what that Mike really cared about you. Having people like that in your life can make the world of a difference. Needless to say all your life struggles made you the awesome, kind hearted and caring person that you are today.

    Before I start to have rapids from my eyes I will just say that I appreciate everything you have done for me even though you don’t know it. Times are very tough for me right now and just being a part of HBG is helping to ease the pain. No homo, if I was to meet you in real life I’d give you a great big hug…;)

    One last thing…It feels great to be back!!!!

  4. Eric March 29, 2010 at 06:24 - Reply

    Videogames have helped through some tough times as well. It started as fascination, going through escapism, reaching inspiration.

    It’s very courageous of you to lay your guts on the table like that.

    I don’t even know how I got to this site, I’ve never heard of it. But if the level of passion and honesty in the other articles is as high as this one, than I think you can make one hell of a contribution to videogames.

    One last thing, I would very much like to translate your article to portuguese so people I know can read it. Thank you so much.

    • Kreyg March 29, 2010 at 08:31 - Reply

      Thank you for taking the time to read this — I appreciate it! It was a tough choice deciding on whether or not I should post this, but I felt I had to.

      There’s a lot of negative press on gaming so why not some good? Video Games helped me through a lot in my life and have some how always been there for me.

      I’m glad that you want to share this with other people. Thanks so much Eric, I appreciate it!

  5. AskACapperDOTcom March 19, 2010 at 18:22 - Reply

    You are awesome bro…. when life hands us lemons make lemon squares and game for a few hours! You guys & girl crush it on many levels keep being awesome!


    • Kreyg March 20, 2010 at 05:31 - Reply

      Thanks chuck. Everyone around here thinks you’re pretty awesome too. I actually make lemonade, never tried lemon squares. Also yeah gaming for a few hours is always great.

  6. BiroZombie March 17, 2010 at 02:04 - Reply

    Your story is very inspiring, and must say that I applaud you for having the courage to tell us all the tale of your life. I cannot say that I understand what you went through, as I have not been in the same situation, but what I can say is that video games have helped me through my depression.

    Video games can help people from a harsh reality that they may live, and bring them into a fantasy world to escape that reality.

  7. whoshotjfk February 27, 2010 at 13:36 - Reply

    I have really been thinking about this article for the past few weeks, and i really didn’t want to post a comment to rashly, rather i wanted to think it out. But now i realized there are very few words to describe this piece. Kids out there take everything for granted, and assume that when they Play on XBL or PSN that they are playing with another person that is just like them. Just a person that enjoys games, but now you have made me go beyond that. You have made me realize the diversity in the personality’s of the people i am playing with. When Noxious posted a blog post, he was right, this little comment to does not pay enough homage to this article.

    • BLC87 March 16, 2010 at 12:37 - Reply

      I agree 100%, great story Kreyg.
      The HBG community is here, and I don’t expect it to go anywhere.

  8. justin February 25, 2010 at 20:48 - Reply

    man a touching and inspiring story kreyg

  9. mistyrosenic February 25, 2010 at 14:08 - Reply

    I haven’t been on in a while because of stuff that came up. I come back today and I find this post. It’s a wonderful post Kreyg and I enjoyed reading it. HBG is a site I enjoy coming to when I have the chance and to know that you put a lot of effort into it makes it even better. Keep up the great work Kreyg!

  10. Thunder_Rieder February 25, 2010 at 13:44 - Reply

    Wow man, thats a beatiful story and man I can really relate, especially to the first part. It was a long read but im truelly happy I read it.

    HBG Forever

  11. BoricuaLegend February 24, 2010 at 23:32 - Reply

    Wow Kreyg, just wow.

    I guess you truly don’t know a person until they actually let you know themselves. This is beyond an amazing story filled with many emotions and I commend you for sticking through it. If I was put in most of your situations I wouldn’t know what I would’ve done. You truly are a remarkable man Kreyg. To have gone through all that and to come out with a Gaming Website that you own yourself that caters to us gamers is phenomenal. This post if very heartwarming and I pray for more success to come your way. I want you to surpass everybody’s expectations and for HotBloodedGaming to grow into a beast of a website, even though it already is. :D

    Keep up your amazing work. :D

  12. darkstar February 24, 2010 at 18:08 - Reply

    great story. Just thought you should know im putting this in my favortites category and will try to pop into the site every now and again to see your writing.
    P.S. maybe someone should point this story out to Jack Thompson

    • Kreyg February 25, 2010 at 06:38 - Reply

      Thanks man, really appreciate that.

      I don’t know what Jack Thompson would say about this. He kind of fell of the face of the Earth since he got disbarred. I bet he is just laying low for now. It would be something else though to see his reaction to this.

  13. Edd February 24, 2010 at 16:33 - Reply

    This is possibly the loveliest, most heartfelt article I have ever read.

  14. Brian February 23, 2010 at 23:26 - Reply

    I’m glad that video games helped you through hard times. It sounds like you’ve accomplished quite a few things despite all those setbacks and video games have been the glue that held your life together.

    I warn you though — be careful not to rely too much on video games. I’ve had a lot of horrible things happen too that I used video games to cope with, but eventually I even lost that and am now lost. Over the past two years, I’ve reviewed over a hundred video games, but even that constant state of busyness didn’t take away the pain and eventually I was just so burnt out that I had to stop. Hopefully that won’t happen, but just be aware that it can.

    • Kreyg February 24, 2010 at 06:44 - Reply

      Thanks for taking the time to read this Brian. I completely understand what you mean about doing all that and getting burned out. I’ve felt the same way from time to time.

      Did you work for a site when you reviewed all those games?

      • Brian February 24, 2010 at 20:24 - Reply

        No problem, it was a great article.

        Not professionally, but I was a regular blogger at Bitmob.

        • Kreyg February 25, 2010 at 04:46 - Reply

          Ahh, that’s cool! I saw they picked up this story. If you have any connection to them still do me a huge favor and let them know I said thanks and I really appreciate it.

  15. Steerpike February 23, 2010 at 17:33 - Reply

    Great article, Kreyg. I gave it a mention over at my site.

    It takes courage to be so frank and honest, almost blunt. But it’s gratifying to know that even in the worst times you’ve found something to comfort you.

    • Kreyg February 23, 2010 at 19:51 - Reply

      Thanks man, glad you liked the article.

      I actually saw that you posted something on your site earlier today. I saw the link over in my tracebacks. I really appreciate that man.

  16. Jolly Wise February 23, 2010 at 14:42 - Reply

    Kreyg, its a great thing that you wrote this story and shared it with the HBG community. Your life story brings out a part of you I thought i would never see. Thanks for all the great laughs throughout all your live broadcasts and I hope HBG successfully expands its community and becomes widely known.

  17. dead237 February 23, 2010 at 00:45 - Reply

    kreyg ive read this like 5 times and sent it to a bunch of my friends and they all have said the same thing that you know some awesome people in your life. you’ve gone through some really tough shit i hope it never happens again <3 (no homo…or do uw ant it to be)?

  18. jacobincubus February 22, 2010 at 22:41 - Reply

    wow. this is an AMAZING story… looking back on it video games always made the “sweet escape” from the crappy reality that was taking place.this story is inspiring and you can rely on my support and help to get this site as renown as game informer… i know i havent been best supporter i couldve been but now i will do whatever i can to spoort this site and help whenever i can… keep up the great work and thanks for the wonderful laughs you have giving me and the rest of the community.. krey… thank you

  19. rickyblaikie February 22, 2010 at 22:18 - Reply

    nice kreyg love it keep it up!

  20. Dingus February 22, 2010 at 22:05 - Reply

    That was a really great read, Kreyg. I know I can’t relate to your position exactly, but there have been several times in my life where I felt gaming helped me get through a few rough patches (there was also at least one occassion where gaming caused me to need stitches :P).

    I heard during your broadcast that apparently a couple sites picked up your story and a few comments were a little less than understanding, and I just don’t get it. From how I understand it, you used games the exact same way many people use books, movies or music to make their lives more bearable. Even in this day and age, however, there is still some sort of stigma attached to gaming that I just don’t understand.

    Anyway, great post and a very great read.

  21. Mr.M13D February 22, 2010 at 21:57 - Reply

    This was a GREAT long read. Its really nice to see where you come from with video games kreyg; I never had the same feelings with video games, they never have been a major part of my life, but I can get where you came from. I remember talking to you during one of the marathons (the homeless children one i think) about how I grew up in the ghetto in Richmond VA. I really do like posts like this, maybe other people on HBG need to do there own “Gardian Angle” blog post.

  22. Danny8914 February 22, 2010 at 21:56 - Reply

    Wow Kreyg, My friends always make fun of me for playing video games and i don’t want to be those kids outside getting their legs broken.I’ve been playing video games since i was 4 like you but i had the N64 and i loved it played it everyday after pre-school and then there came the ps1. i played that as way. But no- matter what video games will always be in my life till i die.

  23. apolix February 22, 2010 at 21:49 - Reply

    Wow Kreyg. Took a while to read, but it was so damn worth it. Thats an incredible story. You know what they say, do what you love, and youve done just that. Great post :)

  24. DjFang.ExE February 22, 2010 at 21:08 - Reply

    I can relate to you kreyg in the way I use gaming to escape reality when it gets harsh.

  25. mugen01 February 22, 2010 at 20:17 - Reply

    Wow Kreyg, I know it’s a little late but this article was amazing. Towards the end there I was starting to get a little watery eyed, i’m a softie. I think that is the best article you have written. I am glad that video games have always been there to help, and I am glad that I have been able to be even a minute part of HBG, and what it has done for you. Thank you, and this article truly was inspiring.

  26. SpudFella February 22, 2010 at 19:57 - Reply

    Great story Kreyg.

    As a long term sufferer of depression, games are the only thing that keep me feeling happy when I’m at my lowest and it’s so nice to see that after going through so much shit you have come through and the future looks brighter than ever which is an inspiration to me. :)

  27. aion database February 22, 2010 at 18:11 - Reply

    Oh, your story has moved me. It’s actually inspirational. Good thing you were able to endure and resolve those tough times with the help of video games of course. I salute you man, for having to bounce back everytime you hit the ground.

    • Kreyg February 22, 2010 at 19:42 - Reply

      Thanks man. When love gives you lemons, you make lemonade. From a young age I always knew that I had to do what I could to get back up when I did hit the ground.

      What’s the point of staying down? Never give up and always push on, no matter how hard things might be

  28. Mechtroid February 22, 2010 at 05:21 - Reply

    After reading through this article, it really touched me. Last year, I went through my first breakup of my life, missed a $390 plane flight, and lost my wallet, all in the same week. I didn’t take it so well. The next month was a blur of (mostly missed) classes and TF2. My friends list ballooned from 30 to 150, and I made a few lasting friendships in that time. Escaping into video games didn’t help the situation at all. In fact, it probably affected my grades. But at the same time, there was little I *could* do about my situation. I basically went into stasis until I could handle the depression healthily. Eventually, I got over it, and now I’m making up for the lost ground.
    To anyone who feels like Kreyg was “avoiding” or “escaping” life’s problems, I’d like to heartily disagree and defend him a bit. What I read here was not the story of a man who gave up on life when the going got tough. He got dealt a crappy hand and fought the resulting depression the best way he knew how. By gaming. It’s escapism when you miss opportunities because of what you’re doing. As you can see, he’s taken advantage of whatever’s came his way, and made a fine website in the process.

    • Kreyg February 22, 2010 at 06:49 - Reply

      Thanks man.

      This song ( sums up a lot of who I am and what I believe in. As much as a joke as this movie was (it was a spoof of walk the line for the most part) This song is something I can def relate to. It’s also just a great song

  29. Swordfyre February 22, 2010 at 02:47 - Reply

    Wow Kreyg…that was amazing.

    Would you mind telling us what games you played?

    • Kreyg February 22, 2010 at 02:56 - Reply

      ohh man, that’s such a long list. Maybe I’ll make a list and put it on the forums sometime in the future.

      But a brief history as a kid, Super Mario Bros 1-3, Sonic 1-3, Mortal Kombat were my favs.

      Then in middle school: I had a PSone and N64: Played twisted metal, metal gear solid(my fav) Goldeneye,

      High School: GTA III, Vice City, Socom

      Present Day: Anything I can, haha

  30. RobMan February 22, 2010 at 00:43 - Reply


    I can’t express how amazing reading your story was. It’s incredible because it’s a lot like my own. For myself it was mostly to do with school and not having friends, but games were there for me in all my darkest hours. They helped me recover from all 9 bouts of surgery I’ve had, and when I was living away from home in awkward and uncomfortable places.
    No one else has ever understood the connection I feel to games quite the same. You’ve given me some validation. Thank you.

    Rob (RobMan) Thrift.

    • Kreyg February 22, 2010 at 02:08 - Reply


      Thanks for reading this man. I’m glad it’s helped give you some validation. Video games are an awesome thing and people don’t realize that they can do good things for people. Sorry to hear about all your surgery, but if you ever want to play a game sometime, feel free to ask me.

      My XBL is dex head and my steam is Kreyg D

      Take care man and thanks for reading my story man.

  31. M-26-7 February 21, 2010 at 20:56 - Reply

    I know I’m going to get burned for this, but doesn’t anyone else see this behavior as, I don’t know, a little worrying? I mean, you said your sister uses pills and such and obviously you don’t approve of that, and for good reason. But aren’t you just using video games in the same, i.e. avoiding dealing with heavy situations by removing yourself from reality. Heck the article is loaded with admissions of this “Within the course of a week, I lost not only my job, but my girlfriend of 3 years as well. I should have been devastated by both events being so close, but guess what was there for me again – video games.”, etc. I feel for you, but maybe video games aren’t the answer to everything.

    • Kreyg February 21, 2010 at 21:09 - Reply

      I do see where you are coming from. But I didn’t mean video games as sitting and playing games for 12+ hrs a day and locking myself out to the world. But rather this site and the broadcast that comes with it. It’s helped keep me busy for hours reading, writing, coding, broadcasting and all that (while I’m not looking for a job or out with friends or family). I don’t completely shut myself out to the outside world.

      Just because I say video games, doesn’t mean I’m playing them all the time. It was like my Job at EB, it was a Job working with video games that was there when the old store closed. It was another video game job that gave me the job I wanted and gave me a place to stay when I needed it.

      I think you took it a little too literal as all I was doing was gaming. Does that help you maybe understand it a little better and not see it as the same as doing drugs or being a bad habit? If it was just me playing video games for hours and shutting myself out that way, I don’t think I would have written this. But it was things I did that involved video games. Know what I mean?

  32. .:Ra:. February 21, 2010 at 20:51 - Reply

    Thanks for sharing this Kreyg. Reading this made my heart all warm, very touching story. I’m sorry for all those hardships and I’m glad you got through them. God Bless you man.

  33. Barretsage February 21, 2010 at 18:25 - Reply

    This was absolutely Beautiful Kreyg…

  34. ftwmasterchief February 21, 2010 at 17:52 - Reply

    I found this from Kotaku, and have to say, it is a beautiful story, I had a similar elementary school experience, and for me as well video games helped me out.

    • Kreyg February 21, 2010 at 19:03 - Reply

      Thanks man, I appreciate you coming over to the site and reading the whole story. Means a lot to me.

  35. Jaysky0 February 21, 2010 at 17:02 - Reply

    Damn man, I’m sorry all that happened to you, but glad everything has been working for you as of recent. It was a very interesting read. I’m hoping you think of HBG as some sort of second family, thats how I think of it.

    I can somewhat relate to this story though, but my situation was definitely not as bad as this. For the past 10 years my parents have done nothing but arguing, had it honestly not been for videogames I probably wouldn’t be typing this comment up right now. Videogames are a major stress relief and I am so damn thankful for them.

    Making things better, last year I re-discovered jtv. I had found jtv before when I was obsessed with Super Smash Bros Brawl and had heard someone was playing the game live. When I started coming back here though it felt almost lifeless since I didn’t really know anyone. Then I happened upon one of your broadcasts, and it was the first time I actually felt like I was interacting the broadcaster and the viewers. It fun. What sealed the deal though was your 48hr marathon. I’ll never forget the refridgerator cast. After that I got into the entire GameOn community and have been a regular to jtv since. Thank you people.

  36. Richard.Pearce February 21, 2010 at 16:55 - Reply

    I cried reading that. Thanks Kreyg for sharing this. I’m sure it can not be easy putting your life on the slate for all to see. I echo your love for the nurturing hand that was (and still is) video games for me also. Its a testament to you and your wonderful site that I feel like I have made one more friend today as your ‘Guardian Angel’ piece must strike a chord in many others as it does me.

    • Kreyg February 21, 2010 at 17:23 - Reply

      Thanks for reading man and I hope to see you around the community here. I’m glad you feel like you’ve made a friend today. HBG here is about games, community, and making friends.

  37. Alexdxtv February 21, 2010 at 16:17 - Reply

    Kreyg, I really hate reading, but I knew I had to read this. This was very inspiring. Thanks for sharing. You’ve been through so much, its incredible.

  38. Dixon Francois February 21, 2010 at 15:59 - Reply

    This is a sad novella with a happy ending. Thanks for sharing Kreyg.

    • Kreyg February 21, 2010 at 16:13 - Reply

      My pleasure. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read it. That to me means a lot.

  39. Connor February 21, 2010 at 15:12 - Reply

    Wow, I just read an excerpt on the weekend reader on Kotaku and decided to come over and read the whole story… When Mike had readied the air bed in the back room for you, I had to wipe a tear. It was a touching story.

    • Kreyg February 21, 2010 at 16:14 - Reply

      It was one of the most touching moments of my life to be honest. Mike was a great boss and an even better person. He wasn’t just my boss, but a best friend and someone who was there when I needed it. It’s sad that he and I have lost contact throughout the last 18 months, but I plan a reunion of all the X-Zone staff that I worked with. Thanks for taking the time out to read the full story. I appreciate it and am very grateful.

  40. Agusfran February 20, 2010 at 22:11 - Reply

    Kreyg… you almost made me cry :’) lol this story is inspiring, I’m starting to look up to you.

  41. samaxe123 February 20, 2010 at 20:52 - Reply

    MUM you can suck my dick, if video games helped you kreyg THEN they will definetly help me fuck mum and fuck dad

    • Kreyg February 20, 2010 at 22:02 - Reply

      No offense dude, but you missed the point completely. You’re not helping the cause very much with that kind of attitude. You seem angry at your parents. But we both live different lives. This was recounting of how how they helped me. Not say, video games will help everyone! Just take it for what it’s worth, a recounting of my life, not to tell everyone video games will help their lives.

      EDIT: Plus, I don’t think you actually read this post. if you did read it, you would have read in the comment box where it says “censor your profanity” You’ll been banned for one week from commenting on HBG next time you or anyone else breaks this rule.


  42. CEFYN February 20, 2010 at 06:01 - Reply

    Hey CEFYN here, won’t let me log in uch. Anyway, that was a beautiful post Kreyg man, keep it up, it has definitely put myself in perspective in a good way. Thank you <3

  43. Froodge February 20, 2010 at 00:02 - Reply

    This story was amazing and i can relate to it. Before high school I never really had any friends. I would just go home and play video games. My parents would usually complain about it but I ignored them because playing video games would take me away from my problems in real life and it would make me feel happy.

    Kreyg this story was very heartwarming and inspiring.

    I really wish that you will be able to achieve your goals in life.

  44. Misterwolf February 19, 2010 at 22:34 - Reply

    Kreyg man as i read yourstory i fell like my eyes were gona burst beacause now i realize how much games have been though my life and how they have helped me thought tough times for me. Even one of my first memories was me fighting with my brother over our new game boy, or when i was at my aunts house with my brother playing Super Metriod on the N64.
    Thanks man your story was really inspiring to me. Even your willingness to share this to people like me u hardly or barely know is pretty amazing. This is one of my most favorite of articals I’ve read this year and i hope it stays here.

  45. AdrianMishamura February 19, 2010 at 21:24 - Reply

    Video games have done a lot of good for me as well. I use it as a primary form of communication with all my friends since we all live across the world or the US. Its nice to see Video Games getting good media views finally

  46. MSgtGunny February 19, 2010 at 21:11 - Reply

    Thats really warming, could easily be a letter to the editor for a newspaper. I’ve had my own similar experiences. 8 years ago, my father had a heart attack. This was around the time that SOCOM US Navy Seals was released and it was basically my first online game. During the time in the hospital and the later after affects of the heart attack, I fell in love with Socom. I loved the experience, I loved the fact that it came with a headset to chat, and it just expanded my experience incredibly. I was also bullied as a kid for being larger, not physically, but psychologically. I still go to the same school, but the atmosphere has changed, i coped and they got over it. last year, my father had a heart palpitation. He went back into the hospital and needed part of his aorta replaced. A few months before that, the long time vice president of my fathers company (which my grand father created) was made a co owner of the company. During the months he was out of the office, the prick of a vice president severed my dad’s job due to some obscure line in the contract.

    My father was in no shape to go job hunting, pushing 58 with several health problems, he lapsed into a sort of depression. I would come home from school and see him in the same chair that I saw him in when I left. He wasn’t active and his conditions got worse due to the lack of activity. Within the months that followed, my mother who had been a lawyer for the NY DA, got re-certified as a lawyer and a long time friend of ours got her a job as a corporate lawyer at TDK. We’ve never been a poor family and have never been extravagently rich, but we were definitely strained during this time while trying to put two kids through college.

    Throughout all of this, video games have been my release. I am a really self contained guy, I don’t talk about my feelings with people, but I believe I’ve been able to do this because I could use video games as an outlet. I didn’t need to talk to a shrink, i could kill people in cod4.

    then about a year and a half ago, i stumbled upon it changed video games for me and is quite possibly helping me get into college. It gave me new people to play with, new communities to interact with and above all, a new place to drown my sorrows.

    Like kreyg said, games are getting bad press from all the violent people who happen to get pushed over the edge by an act involving a game, but I know that I would much rather be addicted to video games then alcohol, cigarettes or any other drug.

  47. Rmak February 19, 2010 at 17:38 - Reply

    I know how you feel Kreyg. After reading this i felt demoralized. I thought I had it bad juggling between school and a job with no car. Always walking everywhere. There it was video games is my stress reliever too. Working my whole senior i missed about almost every school event besides Prom but it had paid off. Through tough times and at any time video games will always be there for me to cheer me up.

  48. Omnislasher February 19, 2010 at 12:46 - Reply

    To be honest Kreyg, I feel the same way. Video games have helped me out A LOT throughout my life.

    There was a thread made back in December called, “Why do you love gaming?”

    Here’s my reply to the thread:

    “Why, because it’s my life.

    I remember when my parents always tell me that I “play video games all the time” and “all you care about is games”. I used to deny it, but I guess they’re right.

    I love gaming. Not only because the fact that it’s FUN, but it’s a huge part of my life. Being handicapped, not having many friends, or being limited to do things like the other kids my age I was left with gaming. It grew onto me and it was the few things I was good at. So I stuck with it.

    Gaming has helped me though everything, all the pain and illness I’ve endured. I would even play games in the ICU at the hospital. Or just to get away from everyday stress. It was my way of escaping reality.

    That’s why I love gaming, cause it’s everything to me.”

  49. BlueMidnightRayz February 19, 2010 at 02:18 - Reply

    Fantastic story Kreyg, video games really helped me when I reached a sad point in my life. Close to a year ago my father passed away (March 11). It was really a tough time in my life. The only thing that helped my though that time was video games. Plus Multiplayer Marathon 2 was just around the corner so I had people to play with. I remember playing GTA IV with Kreyg and others.

    So I thank video games, HBG, and GameOn for helping me when my life hit a wall. Also this community is the greatest. Playing, chatting, and making friends involving something we all love – video games.

  50. Dreamer23 February 19, 2010 at 02:06 - Reply

    wow kreyg, i personally ask for stories from you all the time and your lay, who you are on the table, i just wanna express the gladness i feel when something good can come out of something bad dude. your already strong and on you way to being a great man dude. thanks for all you do for gaming and the people who enjoy it

  51. JesusHMacy February 19, 2010 at 01:49 - Reply

    As I have spent the last few years watching ever since blog tv, I’ve heard many many stories about your life, This pretty much filled in your origin story. Until highschool I never really had that great of friends, I know what you went through. Video games helped me out alot, but you now what helped me out more, and still to this day. HBG. I love you guys and would be nowhere without you.

  52. AxleIsBored February 19, 2010 at 01:37 - Reply


    • Kreyg February 19, 2010 at 01:39 - Reply

      pretty dick dude…

      • AxleIsBored February 20, 2010 at 14:12 - Reply

        sorry <_< i actually liked this article alot. I just be trollin'
        whats a gaming community without trolls buddy ;D

        • Kreyg February 22, 2010 at 12:29 - Reply

          It’s nice, that’s what it is.

          In the guide to commenting (which you OBVIOUSLY didn’t read) it says,

          “We do not tolerate hate speech, TROLLING, flamewars, or anything of the sort.”

          Next time you’re banned

  53. Mistadadio February 18, 2010 at 22:37 - Reply

    Sharing this your the community is truly great. Share this article with a few people I work with and they agreed that it takes a particular person to write about his life and share with everyone……thumbs up bra!

  54. BiroZombie February 18, 2010 at 22:24 - Reply

    That was truly inspiring, Kreyg. Now, I know a little more about you, and I must say that sure opened up to us about your life. I shall salute you for having the courage to do that.

    This does go on to show that video games can be an escape from the harsh reality of a life that a person lives – whether it is minimal or up to the max of what one person can take.

    May we all live on and continue to achieve our own destiny for which we seek.

  55. tuner_racer February 18, 2010 at 21:59 - Reply

    Sounds like my life alot… except i went to school… and have a career and my own house (Not to brag)

  56. bob gray February 18, 2010 at 19:44 - Reply

    Really there isn’t much that I can say that everyone else hasn’t already but I am amazed at how much happiness a medium as awesome and enjoyable as video games has brought to you. Your story touched me too like everyone else and there was a few times where I honestly felt like I would cry like a baby. Anyone who says video games cannot be a fulfilling or valuable experience in life is wrong. Especially considering just how many friends and joy you gained from sharing a common and gratifying love. I’m pretty damn impressed at how much impact video games have made on your life and improved it in many ways. From the many friends you made at x-zone and the community it inspired you to create, which i think is amazing. Articles and stories like this from you that just let us know you on a more personal and heart felt level are why I’m a super fan of hbg and wish you the best of luck in continuing to expand your great community. Seriously thanks for brilliant article kreyg.
    P.S I guess I did have alot to say :P

  57. Reesefeast February 18, 2010 at 19:22 - Reply

    thats really inspiring dude

  58. Birdseyex February 18, 2010 at 19:10 - Reply

    A really amazing story Kreyg, i can relate to the whole shuting yourself away within a game, forgetting about things going on in real life and just immersing yourself in the wold of the game your playing. I’ve done that alot during my childhood and during my teens, it has helped me alot aswel. Il always remember the periode when my mother and father almost split because unfaithfulness and to help deal with that situation i just lost myself in Kingdom Hearts, that game helped me alot during that time.

  59. italianirishman36 February 18, 2010 at 17:59 - Reply

    kreyg man that was an amazing story dude. that must of have been tough for you but hey you still got video games man. to me i play video games to have fun with friends and if i have had a stressful day i play video games while listening to music and it makes me feel so much better. kreyg you are awesome man keep doin what your doin

  60. Chris_is_dop3 February 18, 2010 at 17:44 - Reply

    This really touch my heart as I read along I have to say. I’m very glad I took the time and read your story kreyg and I’m very satisfied. Apart of been a long read there’s a lot of things that I can relate to in my daily life and I thank you for taking the time to write this and share it with the community, that really means a lot to me.

    I feel like this is a place where I can scape from my problems like you did with video games. Hang out with the ppl in here in the chat apart from the broadcast. Shares ideas/thoughts, read interesting stories from Tovan and there’s the forums and the blog which is my favorite part where I can express myself about different thoughts I have in my mind and share with you guys.

    I really admire you Kreyg for your braveness for how you face toughs times in your childhood and overcome with video games that really is impressive.

    I’m happy to say that I’m glad I found HBG and is a pleasure to become part of it.

  61. MPR11 February 18, 2010 at 17:42 - Reply

    I read all of this and was like “wow this is amazeing” I can have the worst of days but what keeps me going is HBG and its community. I can come here and be known I am never going to parties here because it always involves drinking or drugs (like what you said about in high school) and I’m not in to that. With HBG and GameOn I am known. take example chingys cast yesterday, I went in and 10 people said hello and greeted me that is why I love this and the GameOn communities.

  62. knightof2009 February 18, 2010 at 17:40 - Reply

    This is a truely amazing story I am just glad the games comforted you instead of ruined you, its glad to know that a healthy gaming life can save you from a crappy life

  63. Starks February 18, 2010 at 17:11 - Reply

    You didn’t expect many people to read through all that. Seems like quite a few have man. Won’t get into the similarities, as that’d take too long. Will just say I know where you’re coming from.

  64. saintpig February 18, 2010 at 16:57 - Reply

    touching kreyg absolutely beautiful. video games help me through some tuff spots when my parents got divorced in the 3rd grade my cousin was there for me thats why he is my best friend. when ever i try to remember both my parents together all i think off is them fighting and yelling. i cant imagine if my parents were every happy together as if they tried to stay together for my brother and I. when my cousins stopped coming over moved off to collage i felt alone i ended up turning to video games… at school i have few friends but most people hate me for no reason. i had a good old friend that i knew from the being of time stole my girl friend and spread horrible stuff about me. video games helped me but ended me on a one way track to fun and failing. with new games i just want to play and i put off my homework and started failing at school. i brought my grades up and tried harder at school. my dad hates me beats me for a mistake when ever i had a question on homework he would yell at me call me a horrible child and wish i were like your older brother sometimes i think he hopes i was dead or that he was so he would not see me anymore. i turned to HBG after this i would just go in my room lock the door and hide from him it disappointed me when he was not because i’m at his house on weekends. at my moms house i was welcomed with warmth i thought people there cared about me that they thought i was a actual person. my dad and i get along well just a few ruff spots here and there but kreyg helps me through them. Thank you

  65. Dahra10 February 18, 2010 at 16:48 - Reply

    Wow Kryeg. I read the hole thing and I. Couldn’t belive ur life. But the way you got through. Thats what i call awsome. (NO SUCK UP’S) Hope the rest of ur life goes better.

  66. Radar38 February 18, 2010 at 16:42 - Reply

    That is a touching story, Kreyg. Video games are a big part of your life, and it’s nice that they are a personal world for you. X-Zone sounded like a great place to work at. Mike, the manager, sounded like an awesome boss, based on the story. I hope that video games will continue to help you through these times and for the rest of your life. Hopefully, HBG will also get bigger and better as time goes onward. Great story and Good Luck.

  67. Mathew February 18, 2010 at 16:25 - Reply

    Wow, I can really relate to you. I’m currently in the same situation. I’m not necessarily “fat” (more like skinny as hell), and I usually get made fun of because of the people I hang around (the ones that are considered “losers”). However, video games are something I can always rely on. Most of the friends I have have a PS3 and have most of the same games as I have. When I’m not doing homework, I’m playing with them.
    My parents were also in the same situation as yours. Always fighting and yelling right in front of you. But, unlike you, I would just run up to my room, close the door, and wait and hope they would stop soon.
    I really hope you can get through this and find yourself a good job, a loving wife, and hopefully some more video games. Good luck.

  68. Kwyjibo604 February 18, 2010 at 16:24 - Reply

    That truly is a heartwarming story Kreyg. It is good to know that you have overcome hardships through video games. I find it amazing that gaming can transcend emotions, ostracism, financial problems and other unpleasant things in life to bring happiness. Keep blistering those thumbs, fellow gamers. :)

  69. xDSJxPyro February 18, 2010 at 15:53 - Reply

    Damn Kreyg you are real man for writing this, I cannot see any other people taking the time and effort to tell the community of your hardships in life. I do not know if I could do it, and do it with the class you did.

    Also for saying that only 4 people would read this, I think this is something all people here should read. We all have gone through hard times, but you know what, we have each other to pull us out of them. I have to say video games will always be there, they have been my saving grace more than once I can tell you.

    This is a very powerful story Kreyg, and I am glad you decided to put it down for all of us to read, and share our stories with each other. By getting them out and off your chest, if makes you fell good about it, how you have overcome such hardships to make something of this site. Very nice read Kreyg.

  70. silentbrian February 18, 2010 at 15:44 - Reply

    Very touching story Kreyg. I couldn’t even imagine going through what you went through. You are a tough cookie and I admire you for that. I’ve had rocky life also, and video games were my getaway. I’m so glad I found HBG, and you Kreyg. You are a great man, and keep up the good work!

  71. Nuckles37 February 18, 2010 at 14:51 - Reply

    Damn Kreyg. Well, it’s good to know that you are fine, and that things worked out for you.

    For me, videos games aren’t as much of a big deal as it is for you, but it is still a lot to me.
    I used to play a lot of sports. Football, baseball, basketball, soccer. And as you can guess, I got a lot of injuries. What got injured the most and more often were my knees. Every day I would wake up with pain my my knees, and I finally went to see a doctor. Long story short, no more sports. I was devastated. I just lay in bed for days.

    But being the competitive guy I am, I needed something to distract me. And hmmmm, can you guess what I found? :-P Video games.

    There were also other personal things that made my life pure hell (which I dont feel like discussing). By the way, I’m Italian, so you can guess how loud it was in my house. Anyway, it got so bad that at the age of 15, I moved out of my house for a month. My parents didn’t know where I went, but thankfully my grandma let me in with open arms.

    Anyway, like your story Kreyg, video games are my escape from reality, distracting me from horrible things.

  72. GoldMatenes February 18, 2010 at 14:28 - Reply

    Cheers, Kreyg.

    You’ve fought harder than anyone should be asked to.
    And we’ll keep supporting your site, because we share the same love of video games.

  73. turinx February 18, 2010 at 14:03 - Reply

    I knew from picking up details here and there in your broadcast that things in your life at times had been a little rough, you’ve always been pretty open about that. However, I never realized that they were as bad as this. It was pretty courageous of you to open up like that and share your story with the community. Thanks for sharing your story Kreyg, and I wish nothing but good things for you.

  74. cynicalbrit February 18, 2010 at 14:02 - Reply

    That was a really powerful story, and a really great read. Well done and thanks for sharing this part of your life with us. I think it’s fitting considering all the stuff we see on the site from you and Tovan that we see and think “Oh no, blamed on games again,” that you should give us something where we can prove that games help people.
    On top of that, it’s amazing that you made it through all of that. You always say that you are not a good role model, just a cool guy, but in a way this story shows how you can be a good role model. You made it through countless hardships by making the absolute best of the cards that were handed to you in life. Let me put it this way, if I had ended up in your situation I would be dead.
    From my perspective, videogames help me to vent. I’ve always had some anger management issues, and before I had videogames I was known to start yelling at people for little reason, and I once punch one of my best friends in the head so hard he nearly passed out over a game of playground football (soccer). We were eight. Now I yell at a TV screen or punch my beanbag chair, and I haven’t thrown a punch in almost eight years. That’s what videogames have done for me.
    On a more heartfelt note, I consider myself lucky to have ever been born. My parents had two kids before me, my older brother David, and younger sister Katie. When she was seven in 1993, Katie died of Brain cancer. It was a tough time for my parents and brother, but my parents eventually decided not to let David grow up an only child, and I was born on July 22 1994 (the last day of the star sign cancer for you superstitious folk). The story makes everyone else sad, but for me it creates a strange ambivalence. I live with it, and every day I am thankful to have ever been alive.

  75. Sandhu Andreas February 18, 2010 at 13:17 - Reply

    Exceptional article Kreyg, what a brilliant read. I can really relate to some of the personal problems that you’ve had with your family, albeit not as serious. The media thrive on bringing negativity to anything unfortunately.

    I think this article highlights the fact that the gaming community that you are a part of are really like your second family. HBG has been a huge success and I’m really glad it is because a person like you deserves it Kreyg, good job. I commend you on your character because you entertain the fuck out of us each and every night you cast, and seeing now what you’ve been through, I respect you even more bro.

  76. Kyler February 18, 2010 at 12:36 - Reply

    It is a damn shame I just found out my girlfriend is dead set on believing violence in games causes violent behavior. Correlation does not imply causation. Enough said…This fact hit me much harder after reading this. Kreyg, you are a very strong individual. Video games are not the devil and your story is definitely compelling. I am so happy HBG is as successful as it is. I will always be someone who supports you and your site. Take care.

  77. Rocker2791 February 18, 2010 at 12:18 - Reply

    Para 5, Line 8: know me and would allow me (insert ‘to’) play any game I wanted on the demo kiosks.

    Para 11, Line 7: Take out, ‘talk to’

    The rest is in tip top shape as far as I can tell.
    This was an awesome read, and it’s good to finally see an article that shines light on the good that video games can do rather than their supposed negative effects.

  78. unholy_confession February 18, 2010 at 11:45 - Reply

    A very touching story on how video games can touch a person.With all we hear how bad video games are its nice to hear how much of a good impact they can have on someone’s life.

    With all you have been through one could be bitter,but you persevere with are great website and even better cast. Much respect.

  79. Tovan February 18, 2010 at 11:25 - Reply

    I can’t begin to fully understand how you felt during these periods of your life, as my childhood was never especially rough, some might even say it was lucky. However, that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my share of problems throughout my life, and video games were definitely a saving grace in those situations.

    Just a few months ago, our family had a tragic loss. My aunt died, and everyone was crushed by it. Our family has always been very close; all the cousins in the family treat each other like best friends or siblings. The family sees each other pretty much every week, and we all have a blast, so naturally when a part of that family is gone, it’s a pretty huge blow, even more so considering my aunt was only 40 and had three kids.

    The day we found out I was crushed. But, I am the oldest of the “younger” generation in my family, meaning my cousins look up to me. My father came to me that day and told me it was my job to stay strong for them.

    I really didn’t know how I was going to do this, as I was pretty wrecked the entire day. I had never really experienced death in this light before. I needed something to stay strong.

    Video games helped me push through that point and stay strong for my younger cousins. Borderlands had recently come out, so I popped that into the 360 and started playing for a little while.

    And you know what? It really helped take my mind off the situation. I was able to collect myself and when the time came around for the funeral, I was able to stay straight faced.

  80. Saribella February 18, 2010 at 11:24 - Reply


    I read your story today and I have more respect for you going through what you have been through in your life.

    The great thing is that you remained strong thru the challenges in your life and not resorted to doing what some kids in your situation would have done.

    What’s also really great about you is that you use your outlet for meditation for the good of others by hosting charity gaming events. I’m glad I have gotten to know you in the last few months thru the guys at GameOn.

    Keep the great casting up becuse you have a funny sense of humor and in a way you guys are my outlet when I get home from working so hard during the day

  81. CaptNau February 18, 2010 at 11:07 - Reply

    it takes a certain man to write what you have written, a heartfelt, all pages open book of what videogames have done for you, thank you for this its touching and heartwarming to read.

    • pogo February 23, 2010 at 11:49 - Reply

      Just wanted to say thank you for such a brilliant piece. I’ve had alot of similarities throughout my life and the sorts of experiences which lead us to find lifelong friends with memories which last forever.

      Keep up the good work my friend. The world needs stories like these.

      • ss4kirk aka Kirk XD April 11, 2010 at 02:12 - Reply

        This a truely heart felt article and its just incredible that you would share something so close to you. Wow I almost a tear going man this really shows that video games dont make people do stupid shit its just them and agnorance. Mostly people who do stuff “out” of a video just think there lives are bad.
        I wish i could say my life is bad but isn’t that bad but im still depressed. I just feel like im worthless and life has no meaning at all. However when i play video games I feel a false since of acomplishment and it keeps me going even though I have nobody who understands me. I mean I have no friends and when i go home my parents make me feel like no ones there anyways. Im just SICK of feeling so alone all I have are video games. It dosn’t really matter if I die. I
        n conclusion though nobody wanted to hear this so il stop.
        Anyways Kreyg thank you so much for your story. It will keep me pushing.

        • Kreyg April 12, 2010 at 17:00 - Reply

          Keep pushing no matter how hard things may be. Life is always a challenge and it’s what you do with that challenge that defines who you are. Keep pushing man.

          • Kreyg April 12, 2010 at 17:01 - Reply

            Also, never feel like you’re worhtless or don’t matter. You matter to everyone around you whether you want to believe it or not. I’ve felt like you before, but video games can help and we have this awesome community here that you can be a part of and make friends. We might not live in the same town, but we’ve all be brought together for a reason.